Worth the Wait

So, back in July, I arrived home from work to find my beautiful wife doing some baby research online. I walked into the office, and she pleasantly greeted me with, "Do you want to buy me a present?" I replied, in typical Husband-of-the-Year fashion with, "Why would I want to buy you a present?"

That didn't seem to faze her as she reached over and grabbed a small catalog from a little outfit named Uncommon Goods. What she found in this little catalog was a onesie, and matching hat, that simply stated, "I was worth the wait." Well, talk about a way to melt your heart, but not in that annoying, gooey, contrived-chick-flick-kind of way... I still am not so sure about this whole baby thing. It is still so new to me, and without there being any indication that Lisa is actually pregnant other than the nausea and the long-since-erased digital read-out on a pregnancy test, I still sit in a state of bewilderment. I suppose this is to be expected. I was getting all of the attention - soon, I won't. I have no clue how to handle a child - no siblings on whom I could have practiced, no real interaction at all. Why would a truly loving God give me a child? Oh, wait, He is giving the two of us a child. I will be just as helpless as the baby when it is first born. I bet Lisa had no idea that she was going to have to teach two individuals at the same time. Hopefully I will be a quick study.

This little bundle of joy will be worth the wait. I am sure of that. But for me, right now, to feel love towards it is something I am not able to do. Perhaps it is a guarded nature to be prepared in case something catastrophic should happen, but I just don't feel that love yet, and that scares the hell out of me. It makes me wonder if this is normal, or if I am truly so hopelessly selfish and made of stone that I am incapable? I hope not.